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Akiva Lane
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What does eating hot food and sneezing have in common?

They are both hot chews.

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Akiva Lane
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What do programs, programmers, mathematics, lumbermills, and fireplaces all have it common?

They all use logs.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Bill avoid using sucking candies?

He didn't want to be considered a sucker.

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Akiva Lane
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What did Matt Silver call his new software company?

Silver Ware.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the thread say to the needle?

I'm just passing through.

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Akiva Lane
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What part of the computer screen do you have to be careful about what it says?

The cursor.

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Akiva Lane
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What vegetable do people mention when they want to leave some place?

They say Lettuce Go.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was the family alarmed when grandma got up from her rocking chair?

Because she was off her rocker.

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Akiva Lane
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What does getting up in the morning have to do with Newton's laws of motion?

A body at rest tends to stay at rest.

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Akiva Lane
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Why are all shopping malls very similar?

You see one, you see the mall.

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Akiva Lane
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How do you catch an animal that escaped from its cage?

It needs out of the box thinking.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the name of a locksmith store where the locksmith has blond hair

Goldi Locks.

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