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Akiva Lane
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Why are the Patriot missiles kosher?

Because they have fins and chew their scuds.

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Akiva Lane
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After flowers and berries fuse into a pineapple, why can't they do it a second time?

Because then they would refuse.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a cat that steals things?

A feline felon.

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Akiva Lane
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When did the serfs in the Middle Ages sometimes enjoy their work?

When they were Serfing.

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When Jerry got a cold, why did go to the veterinarian?

He was a little hoarse, and he had a frog in his throat.

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Akiva Lane
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What is similar between most men's hair and re-planting a garden?

They are both re-seeding.

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Akiva Lane
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What type of granite is always red?

A pomegranate.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Arnold lie down next to bread in the bakery?

He wanted to be rolling in dough.

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Akiva Lane
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What was the best advice that Benjamin Franklin ever got?

People told him to go fly a kite.

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How do you describe the taste of a spicy pun?

Pungent

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What does a policeman, a fireman, and a doorman all have in common?

They're all men.

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Akiva Lane
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What is similar between a teenager with a credit card and a rhinoceros?

They are both dangerous when they are charging.

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