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What do you call an appointment that gets cancelled?

A dis-appointment.

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What part of a computer screen doesn't speak so nicely?

The cursor.

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What Chinese dynasty was known for everyone trying to be the same?

The Sem Ting Dynasty.

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Why did Cynthia love her calculator?

Because she knew that she could always count on it.

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What's does track & field have in common with a Polish bank?

They both have Pole vaults.

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In what part of our head might there be praying going on all the time?

In our temples.

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Why is moving from one house to another like fighting?

Because it involves boxing.

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Why were Bill's friends always calling him up?

Because his nickname was 'Up'.

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What do forests and clocks have in common?

Ticks.

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What are some states that have a lot of problems?

State of flux, state of shock, state of confusion, and state of denial.

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What did Mrs. Gard call it when she changed her twin babies?

The changing of the Gards.

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How did Arnold react when he got the job as conductor of the orchestra?

It was music to his ears.

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