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Akiva Lane
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What can you say about people who live on the Iraq/Iran border?

They live between Iraq and a hard place.

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What is a sharp, clever woman called?

A shrewd shrew.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the trend called where people take pieces of coal with them on dates?

Carbon dating.

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Akiva Lane
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What are tests in cosmetic school called?

Make-up exams.

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What do the words pigment, canvas, and paintbrush all have in common?

They are all terms of art.

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Are outsiders allowed into the room called the 'well' in the Justice Department?

No, but it's just-as-well.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the moose get into the restaurant?

The customer asked for mousse, and the waiter brought him one.

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Akiva Lane
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Where are the dots that are over the letter i?

The i's have it.

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Why did Jeff like playing basketball, soccer, and baseball?

When he was doing these activities, he was having a ball.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Martha feel about going back to work on Monday?

It was a weak day.

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Akiva Lane
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How do you describe Arnold getting new boots for his computer robots?

He rebooted the computer robots.

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Why did Betty need to call the dry cleaner where she had left her clothes?

She had a pressing question.

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