Pictures:

Why is it good to limit the amount of news you ingest every day?

It's not a coincidence that it's called De Press.

1943

Why did Alan give a tip to the bartender?

Because he felt tipsy.

810

Why did Betty stop eating sausage?

She thought it was the wurst.

918

How do you wake up bread?

You make it rise.

159

Why does the world have problems?

Because it is bi-polar.

4

What kind of food does a tight-rope worker try to eat?

A well-balanced diet.

1693

What security related word has a sword in it?

Password.

1639

How is a person who is looking for parking like Lady Macbeth?

He feels like saying 'Out out damn spot'!

52

What do you call a fish that can't sing?

An out-of-tune a fish.

161

What do you call flies that are attracted to the smell of thyme?

Thyme flies.

2230

Why don't red and blue get along with each other?

They are on different wavelengths.

526

What did the mountain climber call his memoire?

Cliff's Notes.

3034