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Akiva Lane
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What is a good slogan for a company that makes lox?

We know the key to the lox.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the wagon driver call his story about his horse that wouldn't slow down?

Tales of woah.

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Akiva Lane
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How do you describe someone who has gotten use to being a little crazy?

Home on deranged.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the person who smoked too much go to Istanbul on a cold day right after Thanksgiving?

Because he wanted to go cold Turkey.

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Akiva Lane
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What vegetable has the best rhythm?

Beets.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a sink filled with dirty dishes called?

Dish-sheveled.

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Akiva Lane
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What is it called when a car has a good mother?

Good car ma.

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Akiva Lane
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What was Jose's reaction to his first baseball game?

He was impressed how everyone got up at the start and asked him, 'Jose can you see'?

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Akiva Lane
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Why didn't Maxine want to charge the lightbulb with a saltwater battery?

She didn't want it to be charged with salt and battery.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a delicatessen in a mental hospital?

A psycho deli.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a successful young man that hardly ever sleeps?

A son that never sets.

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Akiva Lane
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Why didn't Andy drink the cup of tea that was left in the restaurant?

Because it wasn't his cup of tea.

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