Pictures:

Why didn't the two gangs have their scheduled showdown?

Because one gang didn't show up.

650

Why did John feel bad when he stopped dating?

Because he felt out of date.

1863

What do you get when you find someone you want to marry?

You get married.

319

What do you usually don't mind losing?

Weight.

738

What is the air-conditioning system in a baseball stadium called?

Baseball fans.

2815

Why did the guy from a poor neighborhood study to be a car mechanic?

He wanted to go from under the hood to under the hood.

3195

Why did Beth get so upset when there was only one straw left in the dining room, and someone else took it?

Because that was the last straw!

567

When the prices of houses go up, why do their roofs get weaker?

Because the prices go through the roof.

3267

What room do bats live in?

The bat room.

2812

Why did Jill buy a Jiffy car?

Because she wanted to go places and come back in a jiffy.

752

What do you call ticks that live in a parrot's feathers?

Polly ticks.

2788

What is a good name for a company that sells sprinkler systems?

Cease Fire (an actual name of a company)

1244