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Akiva Lane
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What does the sound of ducks and unsound docs have in common?

They are both quacks.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Lisa buy things with pennies?

When she bought things, she wanted to use common cents.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call worrying about the complications of losing money in a real estate complex?

A complex complex about a complex.

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Akiva Lane
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What is used to lubricate the joints of a robot?

Elbow grease.

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Akiva Lane
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What can you say about 2 matches?

They match.

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Akiva Lane
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What are good names for a company that makes kitchen counters?

Counter Intuitive, or Counter Culture.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Jerry Teck become a computer programmer?

Because people always said to him 'Hi Teck'.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Sam try to bite a bunch of coins?

He wanted them to become bit coins.

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Akiva Lane
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What is good name for a men's clothing store in Thailand?

Tie Land.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a woodworker who can make a chair out of a flat piece of wood?

Chair man of the board.

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Akiva Lane
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When the phone caller said 'I hope I'm not disturbing you', how did Andy respond?

Andy said, "You can't disturb me, because I'm already disturbed".

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call dew that stays on the grass and doesn't disappear?

Resi dew that is over dew.

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