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How did Amanda feel about the fact that science doesn't understand why people are ticklish?

She thought it was mys-tickle.

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Why did the prophet need glasses?

He was far-sighted.

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How did workers feel about going out on strike?

They felt the labor pains would give birth to a better situation.

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What is a radical socialist who is very calm called?

A calm-unist.

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What excuse can be used by a person who drinks too much?

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal labotomy.

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What kind of fruit did they use against Donald Trump?

He was impeached twice.

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Why did the push-button go to the therapist?

Each time someone pushed it, it was depressed.

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What happens when it rains at Yankee Stadium?

Damp Yankees.

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What do you call horses that live next to each other?

Neigh-bors.

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What do garbanzo beans have in common with a sedative for chickens?

Chick peace.

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What is meat that falls on the floor called?

Ground meat.

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How is a head cold similar to a lot of traffic?

They're both congested.

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