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What vegetable do people mention when they want to leave some place?

They say Lettuce Go.

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What has one eye, no mouth, and everyone agrees that it always makes a good point.

A needle.

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What vegetables were on strike?

The onions, because they were onion-ized.

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What is it called when a prisoner sends a text message?

Con-text.

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Why didn't the cafeteria label their trays A, B, C, D, etc?

Because the second one would be 'betray'.

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What kind of tea inspires caring for other people?

Humana Tea.

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What excuse can be used by a person who drinks too much?

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal labotomy.

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How did the American Indians feel about transporting things by travois.

It was a drag.

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Why did Sir Edmund Hillary climb Mt. Everest?

He took a peek at the peak, and it piqued his interest.

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What's an attitude in life that can make things harder?

Taking things for granite.

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Was Anna a vegetarian?

Actually, she was vague on if she was a vegan.

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Where did Maxine put all her bottles of water?

In the water closet.

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