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Akiva Lane
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What is a cookie with a PhD called?

A smart cookie.

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What fruit is the favorite of men and women getting to know each other?

Dates.

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When Marsha told her husband on the phone that she was late, why did he call the police?

She said she was being held up.

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Why should baggage with wheels not be called luggage?

Because it is wheeled and not lugged around.

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Why do chickens tend to have egg-streme political opinions?

Because they don't like being in the middle of the road.

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What do reptiles and music have in common?

They both have scales.

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What is a machine called that helps bulls go to sleep?

A bull dozer.

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Why did Billy write in all capital letters?

He wanted to practice being a Capitalist.

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What do you call memories of stressfull times?

Past tense.

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Why did Joe like working in the spring more than the fall?

He didn't like being the fall guy.

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What is the Sherlock Holmes story where he solves the mystery of the missing pillow?

The pillow case.

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Why is dating tricky?

There might be a 'catch' in what looks like a good catch.

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