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Akiva Lane
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What do dates and apples have it common?

One comes from a palm tree, the other comes from a pomme tree.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Sam look online for a site that sold scratch?

He wanted to build things from scratch.

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What is a lawyer's favorite girl's name?

Sue.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a trumpet made from a shoe called?

A shoe horn.

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Akiva Lane
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What does a big fine for drunken driving have in common with English grammar?

Sin tax.

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What kind of headlines do people not like to see?

The ones in their forehead, because it indicates worry and tension.

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What happens when a problem is solved twice?

It is resolved.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a roof made of seal skins?

A seal-ing.

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Why did Betty put things on the kitchen scale at 1pm for 9 hours?

She wanted to measure them on a scale from 1 to 10.

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Akiva Lane
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What is similar between a tile salesman and a lizard?

One is a tile rep, and the other is a reptile.

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Why do people on a roller coaster say 'Weeeeee'?

Because it's more fun when it's done together with others.

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What does a penthouse have in common with the lead article in a magazine?

They are both a cover story.

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