Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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What do labor unions have to do with your son's friends sleeping over?

Boy cots.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Bill's moving company shake the furniture as they moved it?

Because they wanted to be movers and shakers.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Ben drink Maxwell House coffee before he went parachute jumping?

He wanted to be good to the last drop.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the result if you combine a sweet pie and a sharp onion?

You get an O-PI-NION that is both sweet and sharp.

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Akiva Lane
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What is it called when lawyers make mistakes in the courtroom?

Trial and error.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the waiter get when he served a meal of iceberg lettuce?

The tip of the iceberg.

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Akiva Lane
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When Jack felt that his out-house was too dark, how did he feel after he put a large hole on the top of the door to let in light?

I needed that like a hole in the head.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Beth like her job ironing shirts?

She was ironing bored.

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Akiva Lane
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Why didn't Pharaoh believe anything Moses said?

It was in a State of de Nile.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the difference between a person deciding what to eat, and then eating it?

The first step is to choose, and then he chews.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a father from Iceland?

An ice pop.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was Billy very careful blowing out the candles on his birthday cake?

This was his big birthday party, and he didn't want to blow it.

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