Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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How did the world react to Edison's invention of the electric light bulb?

They thought it was a brilliant idea.

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Akiva Lane
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What does an orchestra and a destructive mob have in common?

They both have violins.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Jim feel like a flamingo?

Because he couldn't put his foot down.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call worrying about the complications of losing money in a real estate complex?

A complex complex about a complex.

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Akiva Lane
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How is a liquor store similar to a nursery of babies?

They both have fine whines.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Betty stop eating sausage?

She thought it was the wurst.

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When Anne's mother suggested that she learn how to play bridge, what was Anne's response?

I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

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Akiva Lane
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Where is restraint within us?

In hibitions.

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Akiva Lane
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Why didn't Mike want to go to the supermarket?

He was afraid of the 'eggs aisle'.

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Akiva Lane
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What is it called when sugar cane rebels against the farmer?

The cane mutiny.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Jim and Beth take one evening a week from their family life to eat dates?

Because that was their date night.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Max fire his accountant?

Because Max told him he wanted the business to be liquid, and the accountant thought he said 'liquidated'.

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