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Akiva Lane
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If Washington is the most Southern face on Mount Rushmore, what is Lincoln?

The North Face.

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What would ticks be called if they were found on the moon?

Luna-ticks.

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Why did the light bulb have emotional problems?

Because it was turned off.

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How do we know that the Almighty is a baseball fan?

His first book starts, 'In the big inning'.

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What is it called when a city is overrun by cats?

A cat-astrophe.

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Why did Jim feel bad when he heard that the US will stop making pennies?

He thought it didn't make cents.

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Does the Moot Pencil Company make very sharp pencils?

That's a moot point.

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Why are all fish stores in Finland kosher?

Because they have Finns and scales.

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Why was the singer embarrassed to go on stage and perform?

Because he was a little horse, and he had a frog in his throat.

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Why did Betty buy a very large plate?

Because she had so many things on her plate.

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Why did the seven dwarves have to go to work every day?

They explain it in their song, 'I owe, I owe, it's off to work we go".

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call worrying about the complications of losing money in a real estate complex?

A complex complex about a complex.

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