Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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Why did Arnold use gloves when painting with red paint?

He didn't want to be caught red handed.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call noodles that are very fresh?

New-dles

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Akiva Lane
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Why is this very useful?

Because people say they'll do things when they get a round tuit.

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Akiva Lane
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After working for 40 years, why didn't Joe want new tires on his car?

He wasn't ready to re-tire.

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Akiva Lane
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What was the longest mistake in history?

The Roman Error, it lasted 500 years.

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Akiva Lane
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What are tests in cosmetic school called?

Make-up exams.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Liz putting a wedding song as her phone's ring tone?

She wanted a wedding ring.

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Akiva Lane
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What type of log is slow and delayed?

The back-log.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a cookie with a PhD called?

A smart cookie.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Sam wear waterproof shoes to work?

It was a new job, and he was getting his feet wet.

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Akiva Lane
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How is a clean shirt similar to a full parking lot that is totally full?

They are both spotless.

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Akiva Lane
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Will wind turbines be successful in producing clean energy?

The answer is blowing in the wind.

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