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Akiva Lane
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What French Queen did not advocate dieting?

Marie Antoinette said 'Let them eat cake.'

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What do you call a bat that makes short, periodic dinging noises?

A dingbat.

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What did it prove when the teacher forced the class to write a long essay?

That might makes write.

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What happened when a tree doctor put the bark of an oak tree on a maple tree?

It didn't work, because he was barking up the wrong tree.

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What kind of art do father's like?

Pop art.

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What's the difference between looking for a parking space and washing clothes?

With one you want spots to appear, and with the other you wants spots to disappear.

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What is the Sherlock Holmes story where he solves the mystery of the missing pillow?

The pillow case.

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What do you call an engineer that dries out the water from streams?

An ex-stream-ist.

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What was the motto of the company that made horror movies?

We've only begun to fright.

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Why did Jim feel like a flamingo?

Because he couldn't put his foot down.

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What do you call a pencil too short to sharpen anymore?

A point of no return.

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Why are visitors to the zoo sometimes directed by mistake to the room with the bats?

People think they asked where the bat room is.

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