Pictures:

Where did Joe and his friends go first when they got to the party?

They tried to beat each other to the punch.

1971

What is similar between a teenager with a credit card and a rhinoceros?

They are both dangerous when they are charging.

1629

What is someone called who lies about how much he eats?

Dish-onest.

1164

Why did the unemployed actor break his leg?

He wanted to be in a cast.

406

Why did Betty watch the weeds grow in the vacant lot?

Because she enjoyed it as the plot thickened.

20

What did Marty say when he was saved by a lifeguard named Sam Bell?

"I was saved by the Bell".

2060

Where does a mountain hiker sleep?

On bedrock.

2763

After Bob broke his leg, why wasn't he able to control his kids?

Because he couldn't put his foot down.

929

What do you call someone who is driven crazy by the ticking of a clock?

A luna-tick.

409

Why did the bears stop being friends?

They found each other unbearable.

2464

Why did Alan give a tip to the bartender?

Because he felt tipsy.

810

What kind of arithmetic did Julius Caesar like?

Divide and conquer.

2558