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When Nancy suggested putting grated cheese on the salad, what was everyone's reaction?

They thought it was grate.

1683

What do you call a delicatessen in a mental hospital?

A psycho deli.

1917

What vegetable makes the most polite request?

Let us.

1761

Where are the dots that are over the letter i?

The i's have it.

3041

Why did Linda name her dogs Rolex and Timex?

They were her watch dogs.

1685

What do you call a scientist whose funding got taken away?

A mad scientist.

133

Why did Andy become a tightrope walker in the circus?

He was told that big money could be made in jobs that are online.

2415

What name for cigarettes describes the harm they do?

Sick-arettes.

289

What is an example of a contact sport where nobody touches anyone else?

When people hide each others' contact lenses.

2661

What is a motorcycle that attacks people called?

A vicious cycle.

769

What is the smartest part of the body?

The nose - it's amazing how much it nose.

2343

What happened when Max’s wife asked him to get plums from the grocery store?

He plum forgot.

1172