Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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Why was the hungry secretary like a clock?

At meetings she took minutes, and at meals she took seconds.

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Akiva Lane
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When the Jacob's family made a home movie, why did they include eating hotdogs at the barbecue?

The hotdogs were perfect for the role.

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Akiva Lane
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What is similar between a thief and shoes to run in?

They are both sneakers.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was the bee punished?

Because it didn't bee-have.

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Akiva Lane
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What psychiatric tool is similar the noses of hippies?

Hip noses.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a collie with a flower in its hair and eating melon?

Melancholy Cauliflower

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Akiva Lane
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What is the prettiest angle?

The acute angle.

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Akiva Lane
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Why do people on a roller coaster say 'Weeeeee'?

Because it's more fun when it's done together with others.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Bill throw a stone out of the car window whenever he made a turn?

He didn't want to leave any turn un-stoned.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you do when you see waves at a beach?

Wave back.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was Linda afraid of using Chapstick?

Her pharmacist said it was lip bomb.

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Akiva Lane
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What happened when the paint Jerry took spilled on his hands?

He was caught red handed.

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