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Akiva Lane
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When Mark got sick and couldn't play trumpet in the school band for a week, what did he do?

The doctor gave him a note that he couldn't play notes.

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Akiva Lane
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What is someone called who lies about how much he eats?

Dish-onest.

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Akiva Lane
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If a person is comfortable in social situations, what does he have?

Social security.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Bill feel when none of the off-switches for the lights worked?

He felt that they were all up-settings.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the barbershop realize it was a mistake to have two barbershop poles?

People thought it was bi-polar.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Beth try not to stir the pot of soup too much?

She didn't want to go stir crazy.

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Akiva Lane
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What is store that sells phones called?

A sell phone store.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call spaghetti that is a double agent?

An im-pasta.

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Akiva Lane
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Whenever Emily had an appointment, what was her hope?

That it wouldn't be a dis-appointment.

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Akiva Lane
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What kind of suit do you go into the water wearing?

A bathing suit.

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Akiva Lane
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What was the flying elephant concerned about?

Of becoming air elephant.

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Akiva Lane
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How do you compare baseball, bowling, and unions?

Baseball: 3 strikes=out, Bowling: 12 strikes= perfect game, Union: strikes are unlimited.

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