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Akiva Lane
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Why did the athlete go into the recording studio?

He wanted to make records.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a tree that has apples for a pie, and it's root is shaped like a square?

The square root of pie.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was the conductor proud of the orchestra he started?

He was very instrumental in its formation.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Bill's tongue always hurt?

Every time he wanted to say something that he shouldn't say, he bit his tongue.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Amanda feel about the fact that science doesn't understand why people are ticklish?

She thought it was mys-tickle.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a sentence that has the words 'the the' right after each other?

I really like the The North Face jacket.

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Akiva Lane
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How is are parameter lists similar to farmers?

They can have many fields.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did trumpet players in the band feel bad after their performance?

They felt they blew it.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Arlene bring a piece of wood and a dog to her first weaving class?

She heard they were going to learn about the warp and the woof.

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Akiva Lane
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When the desire to repent is pent-up, where does one repent?

In a pent-house.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you say to a friend who is trying to uproot a tree

I'm rooting for you.

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Akiva Lane
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Who is this?

Gaucho Marx

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