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What can you say about a bagel with a very large hole?

It's hole is bigger than the sum of its parts.

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What computer activity is similar to buying a new pair of boots?

Re-booting.

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What is a bag called before it wakes up?

A sleeping bag.

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How do you say hello to the middle of the day?

High, noon!

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What do you call a delicatessen in a mental hospital?

A psycho deli.

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Why did the owners of the Secure Hotel change its name?

The guests felt uncomfortable being in Secure.

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What is special about the sentence "See, yes we can!"

It's YES in 4 languages: Spanish, English, French, and Hebrew

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What are some things a person can do if they are stuck thinking about the past?

The can buy 'presents' for other people, or go to a river and look at the 'current'.

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What do air conditioning installers do to save space?

They get all their ducts lined up.

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How did cell phones get their name?

Because if we're not careful, they can imprison us.

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Why is this very useful?

Because people say they'll do things when they get a round tuit.

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What is a stretched rope that walks around called?

A tight rope walker.

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