Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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When Samantha's parrot flew away, what shape did it remind her of?

Polygon.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a person who closes a window because it's too drafty?

A draft dodger.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Ben wear double-pane eye glasses?

He wanted to four-see what would happen.

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Akiva Lane
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What kind of tea seems to last forever?

Eterni-tea.

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Akiva Lane
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What happens every year in the universe?

We celebrate its universe-ary.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Alan give a tip to the bartender?

Because he felt tipsy.

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Akiva Lane
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Why were socks sold in a plastic case that looked like a pear?

It was a pear of socks.

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Akiva Lane
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How do you get rid of weeds?

You have to get to the root of the problem.

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Akiva Lane
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When Mrs. Smith suggested to her husband that they go to a concert, what was his response?

Sounds good.

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Akiva Lane
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What can you say about someone who thinks he will make a lot of money playing dice?

He's in a fool's para-dice.

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Akiva Lane
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Why didn't Janet want to wait in line for 5 hours for tickets to the concert?

She didn't know if she could stand it.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a newspaper that puts you asleep called?

The snooze news.

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