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What did Martha says when the box of cookies fell?

That's the way the cookies crumble.

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What time is it 15 minutes before you finish a meal?

A quarter to ate.

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How did the English teacher teach the class spelling?

She cast them under her spell.

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What are US Treasury Bonds called that move around a lot?

Vaga-Bonds.

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If your dog is not telling the truth while it is sleeping, what should you do?

As the saying goes, let sleeping dogs lie.

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Why did Lisa buy things with pennies?

When she bought things, she wanted to use common cents.

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Why didn't the cafeteria label their trays A, B, C, D, etc?

Because the second one would be 'betray'.

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Why did the bear not want to wear shoes?

It couldn't bear not having bare feet.

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What political system tries to make people calm?

Calm-unisim.

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What is special about the sentence "See, yes we can!"

It's YES in 4 languages: Spanish, English, French, and Hebrew

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What do you call heating oil that you pay for every month?

Term oil.

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What are the coolest inventions?

The air conditioner and the refrigerator.

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