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Akiva Lane
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What do you call people who eat in a steak restaurant?

Steak holders.

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What do you call someone who drives and flies a car-plane?

An auto-pilot.

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Where does a mountain hiker sleep?

On bedrock.

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What do air conditioning installers do to save space?

They get all their ducts lined up.

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What was a misunderstanding between Bill and his wife?

She asked for toilet water for her birthday, and he didn't know it meant perfume.

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What happens when we realize something?

We see it with real eyes.

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What is the time called after mailing a letter?

Post post.

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Why did Max fire his accountant?

Because Max told him he wanted the business to be liquid, and the accountant thought he said 'liquidated'.

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What do you call a delicatessen in a mental hospital?

A psycho deli.

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Why did King Louis XV say, "After me comes the flood"?

He reigned for 59 years, and King Louis XIV reigned for 72 years, and after all that reigning, of course there would be a flood!

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What does a baseball cap and an overturned boat have in common?

Cap size.

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After a long winter, how did the tree feel in the spring?

It felt releaved.

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