Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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If you can get 100 somethings for a penny today, how sure can you be that this will be the price tomorrow?

One hundred per cent.

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Akiva Lane
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What does getting up in the morning have to do with Newton's laws of motion?

A body at rest tends to stay at rest.

1868
Akiva Lane
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How can you tell that a person has humility?

The person places 'you' first - as in 'you'-mility.

1384
Akiva Lane
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What was the result of Joe not having enough self-control with eating?

He found that it was a big waist.

18
Akiva Lane
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What happened when Joe tripped on his neighbor's exposed sewer?

He wanted to sue her.

1195
Akiva Lane
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What happens when it rains at Yankee Stadium?

Damp Yankees.

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Akiva Lane
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Why didn't Joe understand airplanes?

It was above his head.

1312
Akiva Lane
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Why do you have to be very careful after drinking water?

Because after you drink it, it's drunk.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Jenny dislike her job as a stenographer?

Because her boss was a dictator.

60
Akiva Lane
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Why is the Pillsbury doughboy a hippie?

He's a flour child.

11
Akiva Lane
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What do the words pigment, canvas, and paintbrush all have in common?

They are all terms of art.

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Akiva Lane
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What is an insect that hums?

Humbug.

1978