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Akiva Lane
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Where do you go when it's night and you're in bed and you're tired?

You go to sleep.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the vegetarians react when Melinda offered to bring sweet and sour chicken to the party?

They said, keep your two scents out of it.

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What state keeps track of their Dell computers?

Delaware

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What is an example of a ring that weighs nothing?

The ring of a phone or of a doorbell.

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What is the moment called when you decide if and how much you will tip a waiter?

The tipping point.

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What do you call a group of crying babies?

A whinery.

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How did Bob react when his friend said, 'You look so sunburned, did you use enough sun tan oil'.

Bob responded, 'You don't have to rub in in.'

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What does a liquor store have in common with a crowded highway?

They both have bottlenecks.

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What is someone called who puts up gates in alleys?

Alley gater.

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If a person is alone on an island, what color does he have with him?

Maroon.

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What do you call a veterinarian that used to be in the army?

A vet vet.

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Why did the spoiled child want to become a stage designer?

He liked making a scene.

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