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Akiva Lane
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Why didn't Janet want to wait in line for 5 hours for tickets to the concert?

She didn't know if she could stand it.

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Akiva Lane
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What did Frankenstein say when he got older?

My mind isn't what it used to be.

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Akiva Lane
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Why is a popsicle made of mist so interesting?

It's mistacle.

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Akiva Lane
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What permission is needed to kill lice?

A lice sense.

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Akiva Lane
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In music how much is a quarter note worth?

25 cents.

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Akiva Lane
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Did Betty know where her lost ring was?

Off hand, she didn't know.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the Howard Knot Rope Company say about its competitors?

They're not Knot knots.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the Arial, Helvetica, and Courier fonts say to each other?

You're not my type.

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Akiva Lane
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What bidding in the bridge card game do Democrats like?

No trump.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Helvetica respond when someone suggested that she go out with Times New Roman?

He's not my type.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Alice feel when the point of her pencil often broke?

She thought, 'What's the point of using pencils? I'll use pens instead.'

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Janet eat from a bag of dates when she talked to Joe at work?

She wanted him to ask her for a date.

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