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What type of granite is always red?

A pomegranate.

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What political system tries to make people calm?

Calm-unisim.

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What was the main fruit in Noah's ark?

Pears.

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When the tree was cut down, why did it not know how to react?

It was stumped.

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Why did the people realize that calling their town Competent was not a good idea?

Then all the people in the town would be in Competent.

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Why did Sir Edmund Hillary climb Mt. Everest?

He took a peek at the peak, and it piqued his interest.

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Why was the hungry secretary like a clock?

At meetings she took minutes, and at meals she took seconds.

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What are tests in cosmetic school called?

Make-up exams.

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Why does the world have problems?

Because it is bi-polar.

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Why did Joe find it difficult to invest his money?

Because to him it didn't make cents.

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Why wasn't Lucy happy about her schedule?

Because she was so busy, it wasn't funny.

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What is a pretty angle called?

Acute angle.

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