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Akiva Lane
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How did Helvetica respond when someone suggested that she go out with Times New Roman?

He's not my type.

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Why did Billy ask to borrow his friend's shoes?

Because he was told not to judge someone until you stand in their shoes.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Betty buy a very large plate?

Because she had so many things on her plate.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the geologist call his book about the cliffs near the ocean?

Cliff's Notes.

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How did the spice feel when it were burned?

It was incensed.

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What fruit did the restaurant serve to young couples getting to know each other?

Dates.

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How did the writer feel when his books were no longer cited?

He felt ex-cited.

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Why did Andy become a tightrope walker in the circus?

He was told that big money could be made in jobs that are online.

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How did Bob become a carpenter?

He was an apprentice to a carpenter, and that nailed it.

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When the patient said he had trouble with his memory, how did the doctor respond?

In that case, you pay me up front.

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Why did Martha like circles?

Because it has the best all-around shape.

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Akiva Lane
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What happened when Arnold didn't recognize Emily Takin?

He was mistaken about Miss Taken.

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