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Akiva Lane
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Why did Martha feel bad for her calendar?

Because its days are numbered.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a collection for money to plant bushes?

A hedge fund.

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What are commas, periods, and question marks that are used in puns called?

Pun-cuation.

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Why did men find it difficult to understand what Abigail Terious was all out?

She was Miss-terious.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the 2 robbers work together?

They would co-robberate.

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Why did Janet eat from a bag of dates when she talked to Joe at work?

She wanted him to ask her for a date.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Angela feel when she saw a rattlesnake in the park?

She felt rattled.

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What do skyscrapers and libraries have in common?

They have a lot of stories.

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Akiva Lane
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What does a law student have in common with someone giving up liquor?

They both want to pass the bar.

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How did Sam feel about getting bald?

Hair today, gone tomorrow.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the moment called when you decide if and how much you will tip a waiter?

The tipping point.

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Why did the people realize that calling their town Competent was not a good idea?

Then all the people in the town would be in Competent.

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