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How are vegetables different than kids?

Vegetables are bad when spoiled and good when fresh, but it's not good if kids are either fresh or spoiled.

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What does Arthur wear when he drinks tea?

A t-shirt.

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What kind of tea inspires caring for other people?

Humana Tea.

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What is a good name for a very aggressive soda can?

Ghengiz Can.

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What is a survey done over the phone called?

A telephone poll.

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What was the plastic's response when the steel suggested that they get together?

I'm flexible.

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How do we know that the water in back of a boat is not asleep?

Because it's a wake.

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While building his porch, why was Arnie looking for something called 'scratch'?

Because he was building it from scratch.

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What do you call and aunt that doesn't like people?

Aunt Tipathy

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Why did the genie go to a psycho-therapist?

Because he felt all bottled-up.

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What is the difference between a person deciding what to eat, and then eating it?

The first step is to choose, and then he chews.

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What does getting up in the morning have to do with Newton's laws of motion?

A body at rest tends to stay at rest.

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