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Why did Martha lose weight when she ate vegetables?

Because they took away her appetite.

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What vegetable did Marty not take onto his sailboat?

Leeks.

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Why did Molly prefer accepting credit cards than cash?

With all the paper money and change, it takes longer until the cash registers.

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What is it called when someone gets tired because they are overweight?

Fatigue

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Why was the air traffic contoller fired?

Because he didn't know what was flying.

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What did the doctor say when his nurse said there was a man in the waiting room who was disappearing?

Tell him I can't see him now.

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Why was Emily always careful to treat bread carefully and with respect?

She didn't want to do anything that went against the grain.

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What is it called when a mystic is hopeful about the future?

Opti-mistic.

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What is this?

Yisro Whale

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How did they describe the situation where the band's bass players were drunk?

The basses were loaded.

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What is similar between a place where wine is made and a nursery?

They are both whineries.

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What do you call someone who measures how much status people have?

A statustician

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