Pictures:

Why did Jim and Beth take one evening a week from their family life to eat dates?

Because that was their date night.

322

What do people in the US say when they want to use the metric system?

Take me to your litre.

3004

Why did the manager buy wrapping paper?

At the end of meetings he wanted to wrap up the meetings.

1142

What fish is married to an uncle?

Aunt Chovies

1237

Why should you usually not take bullies seriously?

Because they are usually just full of bull.

2508

What is a small store that sells Halloween costumes?

A boo-tique.

155

Why did Jill get so emotional when she moved form one apartment to another?

It was a very moving experience.

1533

Why did Amanda enjoy re-reading books by James Joyce?

She liked re-Joyce-ing.

1985

What happened to the lawyer who spent too much time drinking at the bar?

He was dis-barred.

1627

How did the clothing store sell the last dress that no one seemed to want?

They made a 'dis dress' sale.

1326

Why do shoes sneeze when they get hot?

They become hot-shoes!

1552

What is inside a box of matches that falls from the sky?

A match made in heaven.

709