Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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Why did the general not want to look down at his boots?

He wanted to avoid de feet.

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What is cleaning and oiling a pogo stick called?

Spring cleaning.

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How did Emma feel when she unexpectedly married a great guy?

It was a Sir Prize surprise.

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What do you call a mine that might be silver and might be gold?

Either ore.

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Why did the husband and wife feel very close to each other?

Because she was only one 'meet her' away.

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What was Fred's reaction when someone suggested that he become a chiropracter?

He was taken aback.

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What was the main fruit in Noah's ark?

Pears.

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What is it called when people argue about what to do with a rope?

This cord's discord.

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What do you call a group of crying babies?

A whinery.

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When is a hot cup cold?

When there isn't something hot in it.

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How did Bill like making food on the grill?

It was grate.

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What was Betty's reaction when the recipe called for stirring the batter?

She kept on stirring until she went batty and stir crazy.

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