Pictures:

Why do UN ambassadors stay so healthy?

Diplomatic Immunity

2956

Why were the homeowner's dogs silent when a burglar came and went?

They were hush puppies.

1289

Why do some people seem to find things out before others?

They're member of the heard.

1491

How did diners at the Chinese restaurant react to the LED lighting?

They asked if they could Dim Sum.

334

Which division of a hospital has the best patient supervision?

The "I see you" (ICU)

1007

Which architecture style was used for the new personalized learning center?

Modern Tudor

1440

Which device measures carbohydrates?

A carburetor

841

Which is the most proactive garden rodent?

The gofer.

1445

Why is rationalizing worse than we think?

It uses rational lies.

240

Why do the Polish not force their cuisine on others?

They figure it's their pierogi-tive.

333

Why was the son of a drapery store owner upset when flunking out of college?

He knew it was curtains for him.

376

What do you call someone who loves displaying their mink coat?

A show fur.

3254