Pictures:

What did the man say when needing to repair his socks?

Darn!

2545

What do you call someone who believes only 12.5% in a Universal Being?

An eighth-iest

232

How did the "Closed" sign read at the smoke shop?

Close...but no cigar!

1792

What type of person uses oxygen bleach to brush his teeth?

An oxymoron

2379

What happens to one's ability to walk after 8 drinks?

The results are staggering.

1235

It has to do with the price of tea in China.

876

What is the largest bone on hippos?

Their hips.

1065

Which doctor is best to oversee your knee surgery?

The Joint Chief of Staff

186

How did the honor student fail his Logic course?

He was being unreasonable.

291

What's going on here?

The cat is practically out of the bag.

273

What's good advice when photographing celestial beings?

Be sure you get the best angel.

1027

Why do people in the Czech capital feel priviledged?

They're used to their Prague-ative.

2117