Pictures:

What did the Mayor say about the turnstile jumping on the subway?

That's not fare!

1476

What type of shop specializes in watch components that are accurate up to the minute?

A second-hand store.

707

Where are these people located?

In La-la Land.

1294

This animal is a practical joker.

He just got his friend's goat.

1282

Who is Darth Vader's wife?

Her name is Ellie Vader - she really uplifts him.

1350

What is the status of one's yard after cleaning up after the dog?

It's dooty-free.

1009

Why do 95% of bald people still own a comb?

They can't part with it.

2221

Which famous explorer invented the golf shirt?

Marco Polo

1600

What did Mount Rushmore look like before it was carved?

Un-presidented.

9

Joseph Glidden invented the modern security fence. Who was his wife?

Barb

1153

How did Madam Sonia become a fortune teller?

By "chants"

1996

Why is being a cloud seeder such an easy job?

They just shoot the breeze all day long.

1785