Pictures:

How did the asphalt worker react to his foot being run over by a steam roller?

He was quite impressed.

582

Why did the Chinese military leader suffer from malnutrition?

Everyone kept eating General Tso's chicken.

335

What would one say when learning how a skunk's odor is produced?

That makes scents.

2277

How long must one walk a dog that lives indoors?

Until they're pooped.

2548

Which fruit cannot be consumed as a single entity?

A pair

2531

How does the chief groundskeeper raise the flag in front of Yankee Stadium?

He uses his staff.

228

What type of music do young ladies like best?

Hymns

2286

How do you make a waterbed more bouncy?

Use spring water.

3111

Which U.S. city do people have the hardest time losing weight?

Gainesville, FL

422

How to summarize a person's life after being convicted of a crime?

Con descending.

1125

How did the squirrel corner the market on acorns?

He opened many branches.

182

Why did Mike lose his job as a masseur?

He rubbed people the wrong way.

574