Pictures:

My friend says people think that he is egotistical.

I told him not to have his "I" out for them.

1492

What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account?

Prime mates

3222

How does one obtain a very firm crease from the dry cleaner?

Request an increase.

580

Which dog breed echoes an overly enthusiastic relative?

A Pinscher

1521

Which famous explorer invented the golf shirt?

Marco Polo

1600

Which medical specialty is best for focusing on others?

Your ology

756

What do you call someone using a fake stun gun?

A taser teaser

329

What is a contradictory fact about this specific school?

It's off a 4 lane highway.

491

What's the secret to a healthy heart?

Take medical advice with a grain of salt.

3255

What did the father buffalo say to his eldest when they parted?

Bye, son.

259

What is this man doing?

He's "piering" down

1504

Why was the young mathematician encouraged when computing the formula of circles?

He was told it was easy as pi.

203