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What do athletes and musicians have in common?

They want to make records.

2867

What kind of glasses are these?

They're reading glasses.

2890

Where do uncles find their wives?

An aunt farm

1462

What is it called when someone decides not to do costmetic surgery on their face?

They're doing an about face about their face.

3322

What do you call a pencil too short to sharpen anymore?

A point of no return.

2125

What do you call someone who believes only 12.5% in a Universal Being?

An eighth-iest

232

Why did this company have a bad reputation?

They were suspected of monkey business.

2879

Why do horses tend to get along well with each other?

They have stable relationships.

1895

Why dosn't Andrea like eating old mint candy?

Her one requirement is that they must be in mint condition.

2913

What is a bag called before it wakes up?

A sleeping bag.

1241

Where's the best place to shop in order to escape?

A flee market

297

What can you say about a person who learns to say no?

That now he knows.

777