Pictures:

Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why did Milton Berle say he is going to stop turning around?

Because every time he turns around, another year goes by.

1920
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What did the pan say when it was covered with aluminum foil?

Foiled again!

564
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What position in the armed forces is just below Marine?

Submarine.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What can you say about someone who thinks he will make a lot of money playing dice?

He's in a fool's para-dice.

79
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why was Emily always careful to treat bread carefully and with respect?

She didn't want to do anything that went against the grain.

653
Akiva Lane
General
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How do you talk to a pigeon?

Using pidgin English.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What was the longest mistake in history?

The Roman Error, it lasted 500 years.

512
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why did the manager buy wrapping paper?

At the end of meetings he wanted to wrap up the meetings.

1142
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why did the telephone wires want to go to a therapist?

Because they were high strung.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What do you call a new one ounce bottle of perfume with a subtle fragrance?

A new ounce with a nuance.

2753
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why didn't Martha like having pet ducks?

She found they weren't what they were quacked up to be.

2167
Matt Weiss
General
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Why didn't the clam share its food?

Because it was shell-fish.

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