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Akiva Lane
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What did Liz drink with tea to try to make a date go well?

Date honey.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Matt and Joan feel tension when the dishes weren't washed?

They felt out of sync when the dishes were in the sink.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the trend called where people take pieces of coal with them on dates?

Carbon dating.

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Shane Ronay
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Is it legal to laugh loudly in Hawaii?

No, it must be kept to a low "Ha".

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Shane Ronay
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Why was a homeless man invited to join the London Symphony Orchestra??

They needed someone to play an 'oboe'.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call someone who is always drinking coffee?

A caf-fiend.

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Akiva Lane
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What ring weight absolutely nothing?

The ring tone of a phone.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the new furniture store say when they sold their first sofa?

Sofa so good.

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Akiva Lane
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What do palm trees and calendars have in common?

They both have a lot of dates.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Suzy avoid eating peaches?

After eating the fruit, it was the pits.

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Akiva Lane
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When Beverly got to the supermarket, why did she first go to the fruits and vegetable section?

Since she was on a diet, it was a step in the right direction.

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Akiva Lane
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Where do pharmaceuticals go that don't need a prescriptinon?

They're over the counter.

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