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What object sounds like it was stolen, and what object sounds like it has seen a lot?

The lute and the saw.

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Akiva Lane
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Where do pharmaceuticals go that don't need a prescriptinon?

They're over the counter.

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Akiva Lane
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What did Barry say when he saw his neighbor put a muzzle on his dangerous dog?

Muzzle Tov!

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Shane Ronay
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What are the options in making it to shore?

Row oar swim.

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Akiva Lane
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What happened when the computer team's regression tests failed?

Things regressed.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Alan think carefully about everything decision he made?

Because to do anything else would be unthinkable.

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Why did the Jones family put pails at the edge of their property?

Because everthing after that was beyond the pail.

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Akiva Lane
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What does a baker with a high IQ bake?

Smart cookies.

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Akiva Lane
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What being always acts and feels lousy?

The louse.

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Shane Ronay
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Why did the dermatologist find a new job?

He was getting rash with his patients

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Shane Ronay
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Why do the Polish not force their cuisine on others?

They figure it's their pierogi-tive.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the result if you combine a sweet pie and a sharp onion?

You get an O-PI-NION that is both sweet and sharp.

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