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What's good about using lion bookends?

Then you can read between the lions.

980

When the cat fell into a large bag of quarters, why was it so scared?

Because it was in close quarters.

450

Even though Julie loved history, why did she choose not be a historian?

There was no future in it.

2799

What is a machine that automatically rows a boat?

A row bot.

1221

Why did Joe race Fred to the punch-bowl at the party?

He wanted to beat him to the punch.

1538

What is the study of the latest scientific breakthroughs?

Newrology

2000

What do you call a tree with poems attached to it?

Poet tree.

1605

Why was Timmy destined to become a tennis pro?

He raised a racket since he was young.

377

What do you call a thief that leaves no clues?

Stainless steal.

1658

How did the teacher feel about the dry-erase white board.

He thought it was remarkable.

3023

How do you describe someone who pretends to eat something?

He's ingesting in jest.

3177

What do you say about someone who buys cheap candy that causes them to gain weight?

Penny wise and pound foolish.

2262