Pictures:

What did the vegetarian say to the salami?

You are THE wurst.

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What does a car say when you fill it up with gas?

Tanks.

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How is a person who is looking for parking like Lady Macbeth?

He feels like saying 'Out out damn spot'!

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Why did Jon quit his job at the marble quarry?

He was always between a rock and a hard place.

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Why did Fred spend a lot of time looking around the horse stable?

His therapist said his life should be more stable eyes'd.

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Why did Fred buy stock in the perfume company?

The way they made cents from their scents made sense.

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An elevator pitch.

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How do you fix a broken pumpkin?

With a pumpkin patch.

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What did Marty say when he was saved by a lifeguard named Sam Bell?

"I was saved by the Bell".

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What happened to the magician driving down the street?

He turned into a driveway.

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Why is lumping people together not a good practice?

Because to average them is "mean".

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How did the recession affect the company that made air conditioners?

It took the wind out of their sales.

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