Pictures:

What do you call someone with no capacity at all for gardening?

A blooming idiot.

1147

What do lawyers do?

They insert and remove claws in clauses.

247

How did Bill's hitch-hiking trip go when nobody gave him a ride?

It went without a hitch.

1711

How did Madam Sonia become a fortune teller?

By "chants"

1996

Why did Maxine think her neighbors were squares?

Because they liked square dancing.

602

What did it mean when the professional football players argued with the prisoners in a football game?

The argument had its pros and cons.

1670

What do you call software whose sales are flat?

Flatware

3232

How does one shorten a coughing fit?

Using a hack

1396

What is something called that makes you angry?

A pre-curser.

1921

What vitamin comes from the ocean?

Vitamin Sea.

1723

What do bats celebrate when they come of age?

Their bat mitzvah.

914

How did Martha feel about going back to work on Monday?

It was a weak day.

561