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Akiva Lane
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What rap singer also told puns?

Rapunzel

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Akiva Lane
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How did Maxine feel when her stomach started crying because of the way she was eating?

She knew she had an upset stomach.

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Shane Ronay
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What was the computer monitor's New Year's resolution?

1920 X 1080, same as the year before.

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Akiva Lane
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How are different types of submarines described?

In sub-categories.

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Akiva Lane
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How does a salesman fasten a customer's attention to a sales pitch?

It has to be fasten-ating.

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Akiva Lane
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What does the sound of ducks and unsound docs have in common?

They are both quacks.

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Akiva Lane
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How did cell phones get their name?

Because if we're not careful, they can imprison us.

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Akiva Lane
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Where did Maxine put all her bottles of water?

In the water closet.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Arnold fly in a plane over the North Pole?

He wanted to get over a cold.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was the farm worker disappointed?

He thought he was promised a good salary, but they gave him a good celery.

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General
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What do you say when you have trouble opening a jar of sesame paste?

Open sesame.

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Akiva Lane
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After working for 40 years, why didn't Joe want new tires on his car?

He wasn't ready to re-tire.

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