Pictures:

What is this optician doing?

He's seeing eye to eye with his patient.

1793

What do sales people do when they make big sales?

They have a sell-abration.

1770

What state keeps track of their Dell computers?

Delaware

2251

What was the best advice that Benjamin Franklin ever got?

People told him to go fly a kite.

1597

This animal is a practical joker.

He just got his friend's goat.

1282

Why didn't Bill talk about his skin rash?

It was a senstive topic.

517

When the tree was cut down, why did it not know how to react?

It was stumped.

2049

What are the coolest inventions?

The refrigerator and the air conditioner.

3291

Why didn't Bill promise his wife that he would be a billionaire?

Because that didn't look very promising.

2802

What did the mother do whose son chewed on an electrical cord?

She grounded him until he conducted himself properly.

433

Why did the magazine publisher go to a therapist?

He had a lot of issues.

2516

What was Sylvia's reaction to the box of cookies falling on the floor?

That's the way the cookie crumbles.

605