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Akiva Lane
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How does wheat and rice know how to grow?

It's ingrained in them.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Max feel about having lice?

It made him feel lousy.

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Shane Ronay
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Which city outlawed the use of doorbells?

Knocksville, TN

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Akiva Lane
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Why is it often difficult to communicate messages to other people?

Because often they begin with a mess.

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Akiva Lane
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What vegetables were on strike?

The onions, because they were onion-ized.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a knick-name for sharks?

Vicious fishes.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Joe find it difficult to invest his money?

Because to him it didn't make cents.

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Akiva Lane
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What happens every year in the universe?

We celebrate its universe-ary.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the shepherd find the sheep so heavy?

Wherever he would lead them, they were lead.

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Akiva Lane
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When Mark heard his friend say 'I saw her in this dress', why did he get alarmed?

He thought he said, 'I saw her in distress'.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Milton Berle say he is going to stop turning around?

Because every time he turns around, another year goes by.

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Akiva Lane
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What would happen if Earth was attacked by giant spiders from outer space?

A world wide web.

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