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Shane Ronay
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What device do psychologists use to measure positive emotions?

An Oh!dometer

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What is a very small bull that runs very fast called?

A bull-ett.

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Akiva Lane
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If a window was put into the neck of the Statue of Liberty, what would it be called?

A pane in the neck.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Jerry avoid taking hot baths?

He tried to avoid things that would get him into hot water.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Betty buy a very large plate?

Because she had so many things on her plate.

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Shane Ronay
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What do you call an airline founded by a group of inheritors?

United Heirlines

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Akiva Lane
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Why is 8 followed by 9?

Because if you're offered food after you ate, you say: Nein.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call someone who measures how much status people have?

A statustician

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Akiva Lane
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When Matthew Gen was knighted, why did people think he was a doctor?

Because people called him Sir Gen.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was the singer embarrassed to go on stage and perform?

Because he was a little horse, and he had a frog in his throat.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the lesson of daylight savings time?

If clocks can change, so can we.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a repairman that fixes clocks called?

A tik-tok doc.

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