Pictures:

Akiva Lane
General
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What do you call a new one ounce bottle of perfume with a subtle fragrance?

A new ounce with a nuance.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Bill bring money to bed?

Because he had been sleeping poorly.

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Akiva Lane
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What nickname did Billy's English teacher give him because his essays were so good?

Bill of writes.

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Akiva Lane
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Whenever Emily had an appointment, what was her hope?

That it wouldn't be a dis-appointment.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Arlene bring a piece of wood and a dog to her first weaving class?

She heard they were going to learn about the warp and the woof.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the prisoner break out of jail?

Because he couldn't finish a sentence.

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Shane Ronay
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I know the capitals of all 50 States.

For instance, Montana starts with a capital "M".

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Akiva Lane
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How did the ferris wheel owner feel about having almost no customers?

He felt like he was just spinning his wheels.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Amanda move slowly on days that she didn't eat in order to lose weight?

She moved slowly on fast days.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Max fire his accountant?

Because Max told him he wanted the business to be liquid, and the accountant thought he said 'liquidated'.

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Shane Ronay
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What position is for one working part-time overseeing an orchestra?

A semi-conductor

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Akiva Lane
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Is it good to answer a question with a question?

Is there a better way?

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