Pictures:

Why didn't the carpenter want to fit counter-tops?

He didn't want to be accused of counter-fitting.

1601

Why did Amanda enjoy re-reading books by James Joyce?

She liked re-Joyce-ing.

1985

What is the motto of a store that sends packaged liver to customers?

We deliver de liver.

917

What part of a river is in the present?

Its currents.

1426

What key was the music of the great plains written in?

B flat.

2919

What do you call someone who has lost their sense of taste?

Tasteless

2562

What time is it 15 minutes before you finish a meal?

A quarter to ate.

174

How did the honor student ace his Political Science exam?

By being politically correct.

221

What is a father that sells soft-drinks called?

A soda pop.

78

What's the most dangerous thing to read in Braille?

DO NOT TOUCH!

1223

What do animals and coins have in common?

They both have heads and tails.

2613

Why is this wild cat upset?

He was told that cheetahs never prosper.

309